My relationship to my life story is that it showed me my higher purpose here on earth i am supposed to help people heal with plants and help with addictions

The easiest way to become happy is to always replace a negative thought with a positive one we manifest ourown destinies so if we are feeling grateful for what we already have we will be sure to attract more love and happinedss.

!1m going to an all day AA meeting well Im going for a couple hours then Im working on a 10 page research paper and Ill stop to go eat with my uncle then Ill come home and do random homework but  I am going to stop before i do all that and pray and tell God how extremely grateful I am.

I met my fiance in 1997 and we were best friends for all the years after in 2002 we became boyfriend and girlfriend and plhave kids panned to marry and havekids by Feb 2006 but he died of a heroin overdose in Oct 2005 we were friends or lovers for almost 12 years

II DONT KNOW HOW TO PASTE AN ADDRESS BUT I AM GOING TO SEND THIS MESSAGE WITH PERIDOTS BLOG ENTRY TO SHOW PEOPLE WHATS UP SEBVEN THINGS ABOUT ME
1 I AM A RECOVERING TRASH CAN JUNKY
2 I HAVE FINALLY FOUND GOD
3 MY FIRST MEMORY IS OF BEING MOLESTED WHEN I WAS 3
4 MY BOYFRIEND IS REALLY NEGATIVE
5 I BELIEVE IN UNIVERSAL LAW
6 3/4 OF MY FAMILY ARE ALCOHOLIC ADDICTS
7 I WAS BORN ADDICTED TO DRUGS

ILL BE PASSING THIS ON TO JENNY, MEDI, SANDRA, FEE AND AYLA

I LOVE MAKING THINGS SO I LIKE GETTING MY BUSINESS BACK IN ORDER IM GOING TO DO WORK STUDY AT SCHOOL AND IGET TO TALK TO PSYCH CLASSES ABOUT BEING AN ADDICT AND HAVING MENTAL DISORDERS IT HELPS ME TO TALK AND THEM TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS I LOVE IRT EVEN THOUGH SOMEONE USUALLY MAKES ME CRY BY ASKING A QUESTION BUT PE INFORMED OF WHATS REALLY UP WITH ADDICTIONEOPLE NEED TO B

I think a good education isknowledge no matter if you get it in school or not you can learn a lot in school but they dont teach you to manifest your destiny with positive thought unless you go to an alternative healing school I think education is important because knowledge is good ignorance is evil

i think something everyone can agree on is that the world needs more people then us to change it but we can plant the seeds

My memories come fast and fleeting these days its like all the knowledge in my head has no room for the memories to grow we are studying memory in ppsychology and i need to remember a lot to writwe the kind of shocking oh my God this girls a miracle jkind of memoir i want to write.I got a lotta memories and one is of my boyfriend the weeekend he died. he was playing with me and kept smoking crack and i guess while i was sleeping he stole money out of my pocket then i woke up and saw him and i was disgusted he looked exactly like he had been upo all night smoking crack he took me to his house and left me and then his step dad took me to get my methadone because Eric had already offered to get me heroin  well i guess he got it for hinmself because when we came back he was nodding out in his car he continued to nod out all day and i got drunker and drunker. Hisds friend came over and we weere listening to Lauren hill in my car outside and the guy kissed me I kissed hinm back then i pulled away and said i love eric we left the car and went inside i tried to wake eric up but he wasnt moving finally he moved and we got into a fist fight and he kicked me out the friend offered me a place to go so i went well he took me to the beach i could smell the briny saltwater of new england in the falll and the guy next thing i knew he was naked and on top of me i struggled an d screamed and finally he let me go i had a huge bruise inside mty thigh so he took me back to erics and i tried to lay with eric on the couch he wouldnt hug me when we woke up i told him what happened and he was furious he told me i shouldnt have to go through anything like that again and he called the guy we confronted him and eric made me drink hot tea and whiskey to calm down i went to sleep he went to kick this guys ass thats the last time i saw him alive

MY FIRST MEMORY IS A LITTLE HAZY. I KNOW I AM TWO OR THREE MAYBE 4 BECAUSE I AM POTTY TRAINED AND WEARING A CUTE YELLOW SUNDRESS WITH MY BIG GIRL PANTIES ON UNDERNEATH. MY GRANDPOP HAD JUST BOUGHT ME A PUPPY I DONT REMEMBER THE PUPPY IN MY LIFE EXCEPT THIS ONE DAY BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE IT. MY DAD CAME WITH HIS GRIMY FRIEND IN HIS BIG BLUE VAN. I WAS HAPPY TO SEE MY DADDY HE NEVER HIT ME OR WWAS MEAN TO ME LIKE MY MOMMY. i HAD TO SIT ON THE SMELLY MANS LAP AND THE MEN WERE DRINKING BEER OUT OF A COOLER BETWEEN THEM. tHE GUY WHOS LAP I WAS SITTING ON HAD A BEER HE WAS DRINKING IN HIS LEFT HAND AND HE HAD HIS RIGHT HAND UNDER MY DRESS IN MY UNDERWEAR. I KEPT LOOKING AT MY DADDY TO SEE IF HE NOTICED BUT HE DIDNT. I SQUIRMED BUT HE WOULDNT LET UP. IT WAS STARTING TO HURT BUT I DIDNT WANT TO CRY I WANTED TO BE A BIG GIRL. MY DAD DROPPED ME OFF AT MY GRANDMAS HOUSE WHO WAS MY FAVIORITE PERSON. I WASNT SHY I TOLD HER WHAT HAPPENED AND SHE PUT OINTMENT ON ME BECAUSE I WAS ALL RED DOWN THERE. NOTHING WAS EVER SAID UNTIL I GOT MOLESTED YEARS LATER AND I GOT A FLASHBACK WHEN I TRY TO TALK TO PEOPLE THEY DONT CARE AND MY STEPMOM SAID MY GRANDMOTHER COULDNT REMEMBER IF IT HAPPENED. HOW COULD SHE FORGET? I WAS JUST A BABY AND I NEEDED HER. INSTEAD I GREW UP AND IT HAPPENED MORE TIMES WITH MORE PEIOPLE AND I NEVER DEALT WITHI IT STLL HAVENT BUT AM TRYING TO GO TO THERAPY.

GOD