Help
Sign In
QaR
July 2008 
I feel slightly better
Posted on Dec 23rd, 2007
by 
Earthdweller
Earthdweller
I feel better my dad said I could stay here to detox, Im getting a computer from school Wed. , Im not gonna go crazy detoxing. My dads never been there now its his turn. I got a chakra healing and Carolyn said Id feel bad sfter for 3 days while the energy passed and she told me my relationship would end suddenly, which it did that night. So its all good in the end. The cops told me to get the fuck outta the police station when I went togetmy car and they held it for 3 weeks more drama with that That night I got in an altercation with my boyfriend he hit me and the doorbell rang and there were 6 cop cars. Funny thing is n one heard us yellin or called in my building.So the cops were on me. One asked my stepmom last night if I was here strange! Im not sure what this means, so Im just gettin through each day till I can get back to my apt and finish my class and go to upstate NY and see a friend Ive not seen in 10 years. Anything to keep my mind off relapse in that first week off the methadone. Thank you all here zaadz is my lifeline and thats why Id climb the walls witout the computer. I rent one from school but my boyfriend had one. He keeps calling me I dont know what to do Weve been having problems and hes been doin opiates I just found out and we were fighting every other day. So his energy got forced ot of my life by God Himself, I feel. And in five days Ill be opiate free for the first time in years which is exciting and scary. Ill try to get back to everyone but you know my typing skills Know Im ok its God's will not mine and Im hangin on for the ride and feeling all your energy I really am and I love you all for being my rock when I have no one not a single person Im on my own after this detox but Im ready
Access: Public
Yes you are ready my dear…and all those things are not happening to you but for you!
They are the water that is helping the tree of awareness to sprout in you!
keep smiling my dear!
Great things await you.
All is One,
Doug
They may have said “Estranged” which means not on good terms and separate…..
I don't know what chakra healing is, but I'll check it out and I hope it only adds to your rehab, not takes away from it….
I stil don't understand so much about your story here…….
If the cops showed up after your boyfriend punched you, was he arrested? If at that point you are the victim, why would the cops mess with you? You stil haven't said why the “cops stole your car”. I would imagine that you are looking in to an order of protection.
I hope you're not using again, I hope you can stay with your Dad. If that doesn't work, try inpatient rehab.
I have no book to sell, I have no religion to push, I have no courses for you to take. I have no agenda other than wanting you to be well.
This ride must end.
Glad to hear your Dad is letting you stay there with him to get thru this. Medi is right this is not happeneing to you but for you. Just give me a call if you need to talk or email me and I will call you.
Keep the breathing excersises going, it will help with release of the chemicals. You may experience some light or spacey…headedness. This too is a natural effect of the clearing your doing on all levels.
Just relax and do not hold on to anything, let it all go. Only then will things all of the sudden start to fall into place for you.
There is a reason that you can’t get to your car right now. Just allow your body to feel the way it feels.
Love and light,
Carolyn
Hi dear,
As you asked for help, this is my oppinion and advice:
You know better than anybody you are very ill because of the amount of suffering you have had to face, and you are still facing.
You say in a few days you will be opiates free. This is great, and you must be happy for it. But, please, don’t think this means you have recovered and all is going to be like in heaven, because this it not going to be like this.
You will have a lot of difficult days, as everybody have, but you must continue working hard. No drugs does not mean life will be piece of cake, and difficulties must no be and excuse for coming back again to the shit.
This is not to make you feel pessimist, but the contrary, you have to accept the truth to be able to reach the goal, tand he goal is never coming back to the substances.
You know very well like the drugs had turned you into a lier, now the more important is not lying to yourself amb becaming your own guardian.
Let the others pray, sending energy, wishes, whatever, but never leave to them the control of yourself, and never the never leave the medical help.
In reference with relationships, better not with people into substances, neither with people too interested in helping you, they could all eventualy put more difficulties in your recovering.
So, congratulations and go on fightyng, it worth the value, you worth the value. I am here only to encourage you. all is in your hands, be brave.
Remember this: You have your self.
Don't replace one addiction with another.
Don't remain dependent upon other people or other things to “save you”.
Stop running away from yourself. Stop making excuses.
Stop seeking for someone to take care you, or for someone to take care of.
YOU ARE ALL YOU NEED.
You are your best lover, your best mother, your best father, your best child.
Once you get a grip on that, and really understand this concept, your life will be much
easier.
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE IN THIS ILLUSION.
And God is not outside of you, m'dear. God is in you as you are in God.
Stop looking outside of yourself for peace or “salvation”. You'll never find it.
It is within you.
Don't be afraid to see the Light that is inside of you, the Love that is inside of you, that IS you.
Anything else that you see is just another part of the illusion–just another falsety to let go of.
Forgive yourself.
Love yourself.
Allow yourself to love yourself.
Allow yourself to release all the bullshit that YOU HAVE CHOSEN in your reality.
And choose something real–Love and Light.