I would define integrity   as  self loveandrealization ofself, doing unto othersasyou wouldwant them to do for youandjuststomping on ego

Well Ive had no computer and been waiting on my financial aid so i can pay my rent which is double late fee if my landlord doesnt kick me outtheyrtryin to keep it til 02/08   I b but I am gettin through it een off methadone 10 days. Sometimes I feel like absolut YUCK but zaadz was my support and i was happy now Im feeling low i need to talk to my friends w hich i  will be doing if anyone wants to buy any candles or organic herbal lip balm it is the bomb everything I make is very professional and I can make special orders too i can make salves and tinctures basically im broke til Feb 8th-10th when i cash it so itd help me out Darren ordered two I finally got what he wants I had to remake them and stick coffee beans dep in the wax huge candles but I got it now I make great tye dye candles its a multi candle set and beautiful scented candles OH and I give 10% to charity on any dollar i make cheap free shipping i love you all and missed you bein a part of my life

December 31st when the methadone wa acualy fully gone from my system YAY!!

I would fight for my rights and for all my friends and family. I would fight for abused women, orphans and addicts. I would fight for anyone that needed help fight for them to get it.

I FEEL BETTER AFTER JUST ONE DAY ON ZAADZ I HELPED ANOTHER ADDICT GOT MESSAGES FROM MY FRIENDS AND SHOUT OUTS I KNOW IM NOT ALONE ANYMORE I START SCHOOL MONDAY AND IM EXCITED ILL BE VERY BUSY BUT NOT TOO BUSY FOR ZAADZ WHICH IS MY SUPPORT. MY OUTSIDE FRIENDS DONT SUPPORT ME MY BEST FRIEND ON ZAADZ KATE IS GONE AND I DONT KNOW WHY BUT I LOVE YOU ALL IM GONNA POST ANOTHER MEMORY SOON

The New  year at first br4ought some fear but now Im starting back school and I am excited to work 12 hours a week at my job as a library assistant Im excited once again for the new world I am creating got rid of the negative and bully boyfriend so I start the new year alone but ready to meet people thanks zaadsters for helping me

I make candles, lip balm and all organic bath stuff and salves and herbal medicine so Id recommend that to anyone.Im on welfare I wouldnt recommend that. I start a new job as a library assisstant at my school its work study and Im gonna love it. all in all my jobs make me happy though I need to sell some candles see my photos for ideas

God, Zaadz , School, Mymom, I rarely sleep, My job, LIFE

In the car, while Im crafting, and definitly in my meditation room I put on music sit in the dark with candles and reflect on life

This has been an awful month and a half for me I still cant pay rent and im worried i sstart school Monday and Im worried that im just not ready for more stress. I want too do as good as I did last semester but so much other shit is happening. My mom has cancer of the pancreas kidneys and lungs and she is moving in with me next month so I can take care of her plus school full time studying and work study plus all the pain I have from he accident means doctors galore and i gota be in pain cause I cant take pain pills I need to get through this god will be there right? gotta have faith im nothing without it

JUST SO YALL KNOW I HAVE ONLY BEEN ADVERTISING MY CANDLES BECAUSE i NEED TO SELL SOME AND IM BROKE BUT I AM NOT CHARITY A WONDERFUL PERSON TRIED TO GIVE ME MONEY AND I WOULDNT ALLOW IT UNLESS SHE TOOK A CANDLE I JUST GOT A MESSAGE SAYING I DONT NEED HELP I NEED MONEY THAT IS TRUE MONEY WOULD SOL;VE A LOT BUT I AM NO MOOCHER AND DONT TAKE ANYTHING WITHOUT GIVING BACK ALSO 10% OF ALL I MAKE GOES TO LIKE 6 CHARITIES AND WHEN i GET MY CHECK i DONT FORGET TO TAKE 10 % OUT AND GIVE IT AWAY IM STRUGGLING AND DIDNT THINK ADVERTISING MY PRODUCTS MADE ME A BAD PERSON GUESS I WAS WRONG BUT IM TOO KIND TO SCAM ANYONE MY YEARS OF THE ROUGH LIFE ARE OVER SO TILL YOU BEEN IN MY SHOES PLEASE DONT JUDGE ME I AM LEGIT I GOT A BUSINESS

I just got told by my landlord if I dont have all her money by the 31st she is evicting me on th 29th of Feb even though  I told her I get my check Feb 8th So I told her to write the eviction notice and Idd try to get it from welfare because they are giving me 450 of mycheck and welfare will pay 200 one time but Im so embarassed and upset theyve never credited the book store for three weeks but when I count on my check to live they do w2hy me?

I will give 25% to charity if people will buy my candles or lip balm because as below the story goes

Sometimes i cant handle life on lifes terms and I am just tryin to do the next right thing and just to hear the wor evicted had me in tears ill come up with her money one of my govt checks gots to show up and someone bought 10 candles which saved my life Thank you all for the support I was soooo happy before that guy moved in I feel like he left the negative behind I dont mean to put anyone on the spot I just thought with a hund and 8 friends someone might help and Im now going to donate 25% of all my herbal candle business to charity Im a giver not a receiver so its hard enough to ask for help Im sorry if I offended anyone Im just scared and It is hard to gt positive when this whole month with Rob was one negative one and Im glad hes out but shit lft me with double bills and Im scared

When Im donating my time energy and money to the poor I feel gratitude that ii can well I really cant sfford it Im on welfare but it feels so good to send toys to orphanages,, money to charity, books to the tiny library and clothes to S Army I love feeling like that I know I gotta give toi receiv e too its like my covenant with god . I really dont feel important any other time my family denys me and i have few friends none in this state My head goes pinnng into orbit sometimes and i get scared I cant make it

I want to formally apologize for seeming ungrateful the truth is Im grateful for every message and every comment I get I see myself different. I have gone through a lot this month losing my boyfriend who paid half rent, detoxing getting hit and totaling my car etc. but the icing on the cake is  my landlord we agreed Id pay her Jan 15th and she must not believe i have aid or really want me out because Im evicted. I am going to go stay with my mom and aunt and well get a bigger place and i wont be all alone.. The only friends I have are on zaadz I didnt mean no one was helping me I meant I knew someone would and people have reached out and I want to thank them sometimes I lose faith because bad shit always happens but I think this was from Robs energy it threw me off Im gonna go prray thank you all

I have been so scared and negative it took someone I respect to show me my actions I do not want to force anyone into anything I am not paying rent I am getting evicted so Im not desperate for cash any morwe and iim sorry this is where I vent and sometimes Im angry Im working on that nd replacing my thoughts with positive everything happens for a reason and if landlady doesnt want me here Im goonna go be with my mom and take care of her she has cancer bad thanks for all the love and support im feeling relief it must be all your energy I finally feel ok THANKS

All I gotta say is after Carolyn cleared my chakras I went through it but now its over I felt her enter my body yall I felt wonderful every negative thought changed  toa poitive one I feel true Joy Thanks Carolyn Im bac ontrack I been going through the chakra cleanse i didnt even think of that This woman is amazing

I have been feeling negative and didnt know how to stop I got help!! Today is the first day of the new semester and I am happy to start over. Mycandle page will be under my profile sometime soon along with a full bath care organics line. I appreciate the support of everyone especially Zephyr for your rice game , Snow Moon for your wisdom, Peridot for your generosity but I dont want you to buy anything you cant afford, Mimi for being so kind as to be my first customer, The one for putting me out there, Carolyn for  healing me, I cant read your name but I call you Breathe the wonderful man who bought 10 candles, and all the people who took the time to shout out , message me and ell me I was a little ungratefu (not in so many words) Fact is Id have nothing without zaadz and Im starting over today. I will be less lonely with school, I gotta pack my stuff , I gotta do well in school and I gotta enjoy my life its what God wants Love you all Zaadz rocks!!

All drugs most of which Ive detoxed I have one to go, alcohol, drama, shopping, eating, the lottery and cigarettes. Now for the good things: praying, yoga, positive energy, zaadz , my friends, school and learningThere are goood and bad addictions you just have to replace the bad with the good.

The last thing I learned from a child was to have unconditional love and innocence. I learned I need to get in touch with my inner child. I learned to play again.

I just want to thank my zaadz friends oops i mean gaia for all the loving energy i feel so hopeful

I wish I could win the lottery and donate half to charities and open a safe house for Domestic Violence. I wish I had my herb and candle business up and really running. I wish for world peace but doesnt everyone?

Mymom has three cancers and she just got over colon cancer.Now its lung, kidney and pancreatic.They gaave her a light dose of chemo but she was supposed to get checked but always has an excuse why she didnt. It spread while she was being treated for colon cancer. I believe shes just scared but if they see now they could raise her chemo.I want to talk to the doctor about herbs to help her detox the chemo, and I gave her miso soup. Im a a loss because Im in school 5 days and cant go to the doctor with her so unless she tells me i dont know.Im happy Im going to be living with her Ill be in the same room,  wantd to ask anyone who reads it to send some healing energy and prayerher way. Her name is shaaron. The energy I get from you all is healing me I need to heal her  too.

i have all these little mementos and crystals and knick knacks thatt I dont wanna lose but i must pack up everything I own and give it away or sell it on ebay. Like i just unpacked and I have to cut what I have in thirds because where Im going there is no storage and even though I may get a storage unit for thew=re are surely things I am unable to part with, especially my good books. They are my best friends and while i cut my collection in half the ones left I dont want to lose somw Ive had for 10 years i dont get tired of them. So what do you do with all lifes little memories, and artwork and books if you cant take them with you?

I think habits and addictions are really hard to change. For example i cursea lot My family growing up all did. It sounds awful and I try to not do it but it slips and there i am  Miss. potty mouth. Cigarettes is called a habit but its an addiction and its harder for me to quit then real drugs. They are easier because they ruin your life and if you dontstop youll die or end up in a really bad place which feels a lot like extreme hopelessness. Cigarettes ruin your life gradually. But yeah I would say habits are easier to break then addictions  too.

I wish i had figured out the secret to happiness and learned Law of Attraction. I wish i had paid attention to the drug talks instead of waking up one day a 16 year addict at 30.I wish i would have learned not to trust everyone I meet. i wish i got the signs i get today to warn me of making a mistake my intuition didnt work so well in the past. Im not wishing to go back theres just a lot if i had known that wouldve saved me pain. i wish i knew my fiance was using instead of getting a call he overdosed and was brain dead. things like that make us stronger as a person but im sure i would have changed a lot if i had only known a little better

I would have a retreat on a pprivate island somewhere in the Carribean or near Hawaii. It would be all conscious people doing yoga classes, boats and jet skis, frolicking on the beach,hiking through waterfalls andtropical foliage, and just generally being happy and worry free. Its all about clear water and beautiful Nature not just beach and roads.One road in and out the rest just rainforest. Picking herbs and making everything I need to maintain a healthy body. I wish!

yes getting sober was something I  had no intention of doing but it happened and I couldnt be more grateful. I always resist change but its always for the best

I had an assignment called where are you in 20 years. i manifested myyslf as a healer living in Costa Rica with a store for all my herbal stuff and body care and as an addiction psychologist. It was a fun assignment. I manifested what I truly want. Ill tell you in 20 years if it happened