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QaR
July 2008 
My Mom is bad
Posted on Feb 19th, 2008
by 
Earthdweller
Earthdweller
I was told yesterday that my moms liver cancer is incurable and supposedly she has only 1-2 years to live. I feel some type of way and I have to talk to her doctor about herbal remedies I have found. Ive been emotional all day because I cant show it in front of her and Im thinking watching my mom dye would be worse then living in my addiction. I see why I got cleaned up and was available to be here for her. She doesnt know how long she has to live. I have a faith in plants and plant spirits and Im trying to get these ingredients for when shes done chemo. Im kinda in shock but am trying to be here now and think of other healings. Any suggestions?
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Shannon, thank you for directing me to your blog. When a friend of mine was told she had 6 months to live because of brain tumor, I told her: “At least you know that you have six months. As life is uncertain, I don't know if I'll live for another second!” As she was a joyful person, we both laughed heartily at this.
When something like this is told to me [as with my fil], I start to look off at a tangent. This is neither time for a death-watch nor for a death-deferral. It is time to live every moment, so that time slows down, and we begin to be aware of so much more than we knew is around us. No doctor can predict death, just as they can't predict the moment of birth [except during caesarian].
A person lives and dies for other reasons than illness or good health. These are just outer aspects or excuses for why we live or die.
So, first, dear Shannon, look at this as a way that your guides have, to tell you to live in the moment, in the now, to enjoy laughter and love and joy with your mother. As the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying says, we can live fully only when we realize that each moment can be our last.
And once this happens, more ideas will come your way. First things first. Calm, laughter, joy, love are all medicine.
Perhaps a start by changing the title “My mom is bad' to…. you think of it!
Shannon,
I don't believe I can say anything more than Meenakshi did (what a beautiful and wise reply she has left for you!) but I did want to let you know that I have read your post and am thinking of you. You have a chance to create something beautiful right now with your Mom. Of course there will be moments of sadness and even panic but just allow yourself to take the time to breathe and be with your feelings and you will find that there is a deep strength within that will get you through. I have found that the love that opens up when we know our time with a loved one may be limited is - well, limitless.
Much Love, Ayla
Good advice from both and not much for me to add here, but remember to take some breaks and have time for yourself too. If someone offers help take it, and ask if necessary. In the long run you will cope better for having a little time off and come back to caring refreshed, without respite gradually over time one reaches burn-out. Take care of yourself as well as your Mum my friend. Hugs.